Green haze
by carolina-28
Summary: Arthur is jealous and acts like a prat. End of. Except for obligatory happy ending-oh and also a grabby Knight and banned substance. ;
1. merry morning

Slash pairing: Merlin/Arthur  
Rating: M (more for themes than explicit content)  
Warnings: Attempted rape (not explicit at all and in brief flashback)  
A.N: H/C. Not beta'd. Sorry had to just get this posted but will def get beta'd if the offer is still there. The fic needs you :)

*****

He couldn't think, only feel. His vision blurred as his body shuddered through every broken cry.

Merlin pulled the sheet more securely over his head and pressed his face into the pillow to muffle his sobs. He failed however to suppress the painful memories, which threatened to overwhelm, as he recalled the events of the day. Soon it would be necessary to move, to pack and leave. Not yet. _Now_ he would bewail what could not be.

Ignoring the pounding of fists against the wooden door, he wallowed in his misery knowing that nothing could penetrate the barrier he had created.

*****

_That morn…_

He'd spent ages preparing a magnificent breakfast of succulent sausages, ripe fruit and fresh bread smeared with honey and it was growing colder and less appetizing by the second. Not by his standards but Arthur would complain. It was hardly Merlin's fault if the Prince ignored every one of his calls.

"Come on you prat, get up," he muttered under his breath. It was all right for some. Merlin had risen with the larks but with rather less predilection for song.

The blonde head, scarcely visible, buried as it was beneath luxuriously, warm, comfortable sheets, shifted a little. Merlin prayed his muttering hadn't been overheard. The Prince could be cranky in the morning, rather like a bear with a sore head. He didn't think Arthur had cause to complain what with his luxuriously, warm..._damn his own rag of a bed sheet_. All Merlin knew was that his own bed didn't appear nearly as attractive as this one.

"Rise and shine!" he proclaimed in the cheery voice he knew irritated the Prince. Merlin had now decided there was actually no point in the softly softly approach. No matter what, he tended to receive the brunt of Arthur's temper. Not that he ever hurt him, not physically anyway, but he was oftenthe proverbial whipping boy to be lashed by Arthur's tongue.

"Bit longer...go 'way." The glimpse of hair disappeared.

Merlin almost laughed, so much did the Prince sound like a small boy, huffing against having to get up. It reminded him of his own childhood. _Oh crap, he was the mother in this relationship_. He may as well be he decided as he sighed loudly and looked thoughtfully at the plate of food.

"What a waste of food," he exclaimed. "Ah well, waste not, want not." Merlin awaited the expected response. He wasn't made to wait long.

"What!" A muffled shout.

Merlin smirked as the sheets slid away to reveal a bare chested and highly disgruntled Arthur. He quickly assumed a sweetly bland expression.

Rolling his eyes, Arthur sat up fully, and swatted his servant over the head.

"Very funny," he grumbled as he took in Merlin's considerable distance from his breakfast. "I don't know why I fall for that, I know you would never dare to..." He stopped as he took in his servant and the suspiciously innocent visage.

"Did you do something to it?" he grouched. "It isn't rat again is it?"

Arthur prodded a sausage cautiously which almost finished Merlin off but he managed to hide his choked laughter behind a cough.

"I don't know what to do with you Merlin..." Arthur growled. "And wipe that look of your face I can see your cheekbones are threatening to burst with glee."

Merlin's lips curled up against his will as he recalled the rat incident_._ He was immediately grabbed, hair ruffled wildly as his head was held locked beneath a muscled arm. _Not again! _

"Agh! Arthur let me go. No. Sto-stop it!" he squealed. Merlin relaxed slightly, heart racing, as he was put aside like a toy discarded by a big cat. He always found it a bit unsettling when he was that close to his master. Peeking up at Arthur, he was relieved by the expression on his face.

The blue eyes had softened and they were looking at him almost fondly?

Merlin grinned thankful that Arthur was in better tune this morning. It meant an easier day was ahead if they started with casual banter.

*****

Arthur swung his sword and in an instant had the upper hand. He assisted the Knight to stand and gestured for the next challenger to approach. It was early morning and the Prince was training his Knights as he did most days. It was extremely dangerous as they were fighting with no chain mail or protection of any kind other than a shield. Arthur wanted his men to be 'prepared for any eventuality'. Merlin was only glancing now and then for reassurance that Arthur was okay. He usually enjoyed watching, confident in his master's skill but with so much bare skin visible, he felt nervous and slightly agitated.

Applause rose above the sound of swords clanging and against his will; Merlin looked up to stare at the combatants. He observed the muscles playing underneath Arthur's skin. If you liked that sort of thing then the Prince was undoubtedly highly attractive - it didn't take a genius to figure out. He may not be a genius but he had eyes and they currently were trying very hard not to see, especially as they had extremely good access to the body in question. In response to these thoughts Merlin did what he usually did...pretended they didn't exist. Deciding that the Prince had no need of him now, he wandered off in the direction of the stables. He could always brush down Arthur's horse or muck out. Not exactly, a pleasurable job but it would distract him.

Shovelling dung was a revolting task and Merlin was concluding that he should get back to Arthur when a heavy hand on his shoulder made him jump.

"Eep!" he cried and immediately blushed. Standing before him was one of Arthur's Knights, who doubtless had never uttered such a girly sound in his entire existence. He couldn't recall the man's name, as to be honest, whenever grouped together, the Knights became a largish blur of red cloaks and biceps. Usually he focused his attention on Arthur. In his role of manservant-obviously. He did know though that this man hadn't been at the training earlier.

"Aren't you the Prince's servant!" he grunted. He was staring in an unblinking fashion, which made Merlin feel distinctly uncomfortable.

"Erm...yes..." Merlin looked at his feet, disconcerted by the gimlet stare he could actually feel. "Sir."

His fingers clenched around the shovel as he sent darting looks at the bulk in front of him. He was uneasy at the expression on the man's face although he wasn't sure why. It was impassive but made Merlin feel uncomfortable with its intense glare.

"I have decided that it would be beneficial nature for us to be better acquainted," he said with a gleam in his eye.

Not liking the turn of conversation and suspecting where this was going Merlin looked down again at his feet. His chin was grabbed and pulled upward so that he could meet the Knight's regard.

"Do not ignore me peasant, this is an honour which you will accept."

Not sure what to do he almost collapsed with relief at the sound of Arthur calling.

"Merlin!" He wasn't far away by the sound of it.

He couldn't move as the hand held him still. Blinking upward, he swallowed nervously and gestured with his head to the exit.

"Have to go...Arthur," he said uneasily. Merlin didn't like this, not at all.

"Thereyou are Merlin; I've been calling you for ages and for once will..." Arthur paused, obviously just now taking in the scene. There was quiet for a moment.

"Sir Durant," he acknowledged and, without withdrawing his attention from the Knight, barked, "Merlin go to my chambers and begin cleaning them thoroughly."

Arthur's mouth tightened as his servant still didn't move. "Now!"

Merlin scurried off only to happy to obey this order. Thankfully, the man's grip had eased but only after momentarily clenching at Arthur's final growl making it initially impossible for his prey to flee. Entering Arthur's chambers he stopped to catch his breath and wondered if he was being ridiculous for feeling as unsettled as he did. No. All of his senses warned against the man and he just knew there was something not quite right about Sir Durant.

He was in the middle of scrubbing the floor to a well-earned gleam when Arthur's door swung open with a resounding bang. Merlin had put all thoughts of the earlier incident from his mind pondering instead of what to do for his mother's birthday, which was approaching. Seeing Arthur watch him with a fierce glare rather brought it all back to a now bewildered Merlin. Why did he deserve such a look?

"That's me finished now Sire," he murmured quietly, deciding now was a time to be as unobtrusive as possible. "Is there anything else you require before the banquet?"

Now Arthur was making him uneasy. What had he done? Had he failed to complete some task correctly or to the Prince's standards? Struggling to recall everything that had occurred from the moment he'd awoken until now Merlin concluded that there was nothing that stood out.

"Erm, was there something else Sire," he repeated nervously and biting down on his plump lower lip. He watched blue flash, so briefly Merlin wondered if he'd imagined it.

Arthur marched over to his bed and flung several items onto it, some sliding onto the floor. Merlin was surprised to note that one of said items was Arthur's sword. He wasn't usually so careless with the weapon, which he treasured so highly and made Merlin polish more than actually necessary. (In Merlin's opinion).

He still hadn't said a word and Merlin began to back cautiously toward the door. He had never been scared as such of his master but something had obviously set Arthur off and it was never advisable to hang about if he was in a temper. Merlin frowned as he considered the Prince's behaviour.

Almost at the door, he reached a hand out for the looped handle. It was grabbed fiercely, and Merlin was suddenly swinging backward, landing on top of something, which absorbed his weight then cushioned it.

Opening his eyes, he stared into possessive blue orbs and realised in shocked amazement that he was laying on Arthur's bed. With Arthur!

"Now..." Arthur purred. "Why don't you tell me why you were propositioning one of the Knights of Camelot in my stables. Hmm?"

Merlin gaped, too taken aback to feel indignant or angry on his own behalf. Then he had no opportunity to respond as Arthur's mouth sealed over his as strong arms bound him close.


	2. it can't get worse?

Part of him couldn't deny the overwhelming pleasure that was sweeping through him at Arthur's touch. However, he couldn't shush the voice, which whispered that the man who held him believed he was easy. As this sank in Merlin began to struggle, gently at first, then in agitation when he wasn't immediately released.

"What's wrong Merlin, don't you feel up to it? Have you tired yourself out with Durant?" Arthur spat.

A cruel hand squeezed his arm and he wriggled desperate to escape the stranger who had him. His body began to shake, and as Arthur rolled onto his side, Merlin scrambled from the bed in his haste to leave. Confused, hurt and completely shaken by what was happening. It didn't seem real. This wasn't Arthur.

"Yes go then, but remember know one else touches you," the Prince commanded and strode over to grasp Merlin's jaw.

Turning his face away, tears beginning to roll down his cheeks, Merlin backed to the door. Arthur had never acted in this manner or been such a complete arse before. For the first time he was scared in his presence. He watched the Prince walk away and felt at a loss on what to think...what to do?

"I...never touched..." he stammered, furious at his own inability to stand up and tell Arthur off. In fact, fuck it! He marched over to Arthur who now sat at his desk, writing on parchment, and ignoring his presence.

"I don't know where that kiss came from, where you fucking get off believing what that...that..." he gulped in air. "All I know is you're being a total prat and I'm no one's property!"

Arthur's head shot up at this. A tinge of red faintly coloured his neck, rising into his face. Confusion flickered, almost regret, but at Merlin's final statement of denial rage blazed once more. Merlin observed this, and no longer wanting to be around him, fled. No one followed.

He had scrubbed away the tears but could feel them threaten to fall once more. He wanted..._needed_ to be alone. He could admit now that the feelings he held for Arthur were not strictly platonic but to have it all confronted in that way. To realise that Arthur couldn't respect him to treat him in such a way when Merlin had come to think of the Prince as a friend. That hurt the most. Tearing down the corridor which led to his own chambers Merlin squeezed his fists tight at his side and shook his head from side to side as if that could clear all the pain he had felt and get rid of the memory of Arthur's angry words and touch. Deep in thought, he didn't see the person walking toward him until it was too late.

*****

Gaius walked slowly up the steps, which led into the Castle. It had been a hectic day with plenty of maladies to treat. He passed a couple of servants on the way to his chambers, nodding in acknowledgement but wondering why they were together in the Castle. They should know better than to socialise whilst working.

"Don't give me that you bitch, I know you bedded that little slut!"

Gaius paused, staring back at them in disbelief. They were a rather sweet couple who had married the week before. His mouth fell open as the woman, whom he knew to be a gentle soul, yelled back that she didn't know what he was talking about with the exasperated air of someone repeating themselves. Hurrying as quickly as he could manage Gaius insinuated his person between them and held his hands up in entreaty.

"What is going on here?" he demanded. He was close enough to see the almost glazed look in the young man's eyes. There was the slightest tinge of..._oh_…well they were in trouble now.

He took them both by hand, still separating them, and told them to come with him to his chambers.

"Why, what's wrong?" the man asked before going back to staring daggers at his wife.

"You're acting like a crazy person and ask that?" his wife exclaimed in disbelief.

Gaius frowned unsure how much to reveal.

"I think you've been infected by a potion which encourages jealousy or envy to blossom beyond the victim's control."

He watched their reactions carefully. The girl still looked worried but almost relieved that there was an explanation for her husband's behaviour, which had been so out of character. He on the other hand stared at Gaius in disbelief and muttered loudly in protest as he led them to his rooms.

"I take it neither of you took anything out of the ordinary in the last twenty four hours?" he asked assessing their reaction. They shook their heads in the negative. The girl had turned a little pink he noted with suspicion and resolved to pursue the matter at the appropriate time. Now though, he should focus on producing a remedy.

_"Gaius!" _Arthur was striding towards them with an unusually panicked expression on his face.

"Sire," he acknowledged respectfully.

"I need to speak to you in private," Arthur stated. Something in the tone though caught the physician's attention. Looking closely he saw that he had been correct in his initial assessment, something was seriously bothering the Prince...then he looked closer.

"Sire," Gaius pulled him a little to the side after shooting a warning look at the couple who had begun to snipe at each other. "I think I should inform you of my worries concerning a banned potion I believe may have infiltrated the Kingdom," he said in a hushed voice.

"Oh." Arthur looked taken aback and then abruptly concerned. "Fine, tell me and then I'll discuss my matter later. I take it my father is aware."

Gaius shook his head. "It has only just come to my attention Sire and at present I am only aware of two specific people who have been affected."

The Prince looked curiously at the servants who were in the middle of a fierce argument. "I take it..." he trailed off, eyebrows raised knowingly.

Gaius grimaced. "I'm afraid you're only half right, Sire," he said. "There is one other person in our company who is affected."

Arthur frowned.

"You Sire."

*****

He slammed the door as he entered the chambers he shared with Gaius. Immediately he felt a burst of magic escape him, unbidden, to keep others away. Merlin flung himself face down on the bed and cried his heart out. Arthur had treated him, as he would a common whore, no, worse than that. In fact what hurt was that he hadn't thought the Prince capable of such behaviour at all. The dragon had it so wrong about them being two sides of the same coin!

Then, to have that...that monster Durant grab at him and try to...it made Merlin shudder to imagine what would have happened if he hadn't had magic to use in his defence. The Knight had been so large and strong, trained to overpower all threats to Camelot and the King. If he had been anyone else he would have been... he swallowed carefully. He had to leave this place, even if just for a while. Camelot was no longer an exciting adventure but a disenchantment of the greatest proportions.

He couldn't think, only feel. His vision blurred as his body shuddered through every broken cry. Merlin pulled the sheet more securely over his head and pressed his face into the pillow to muffle his sobs. He failed however to suppress the painful memories, which threatened to overwhelm, as he recalled the events of the day. Soon it would be necessary to move, to pack and leave. Not yet. Now he would bewail what could not be.

"Merlin!" he heard shouting and knew it was his name being called but couldn't find the strength to care. Ignoring the pounding of fists against the wooden door, he wallowed in his misery knowing that nothing could penetrate the barrier he had created.

_"Little cocksucker!" _Shame and humiliation.  
_  
__"Tease!" _Sweaty palms had grabbed his neck forcing a sloppy kiss, which had sent bile rising in Merlin's stomach. He could taste it.  
_  
__"You give it to the Prince don't think I don't see it!" _

Thank the Gods he hadn't managed more than the vile groping he had subjected Merlin to. It had been revolting enough. The explosion of power had startled even Merlin and he had stood, shaken and still as the man crumpled to the ground. Merlin had left Durant lying there, though not quite in his usual form.

His tears seemed to have run out and he felt a numbness creep over him. Merlin wondered with a twisted smile what excuse he could give his mother for arriving home so much earlier than planned.

"Merlin!"

A loud thud accompanied the yell.

He now recognised the voice as that of Gaius and considered not answering but it sounded urgent. The elderly physician was shouting about a potion and needing an antidote? With reluctance, he forced his body to rise, scrubbed at his eyes and went to open the door.


	3. that damn potion!

Arthur frowned as he pondered on what Gaius was saying as they progressed along the corridor to the physician's chambers. Everything had suddenly begun to make sense. If the physician was correct then he and the servant boy had been affected by a potion, which forced on its victims an overwhelming jealousy. In some cases, it could lead to death -suicide or the murder of the object of affection.

Apparently known as the 'Green Haze' the potion had been popular in Camelot years before. Sorcerers had sold it to the local who wished to capture the object of their attentions by making them jealous of any other admirers. The problem had been of course the fact that the emotions spiked far beyond anyone's control and more pain was felt than love during those years. It had been banned, even in those times when magic was freely practised.

The question was how had _they _been infected now?

Arthur had explained to Gaius a little of what had happened with Merlin and thankfully hadn't needed to say much for the physician to catch his drift. He couldn't bear to think of what he'd done to Merlin or what could have happened. He was just grateful he had managed to stop at a kiss, which had been bad enough. It had been as if he was looking on as someone else grabbed at Merlin and forced kisses on him. He would be lucky if he could get Merlin to stay in the same room as him in future. He couldn't excuse his behaviour even if he had been acting under the effects of a potion.

At the time when he'd listened to Durant he'd only felt rage at the thought of someone touching his Merlin. He must be disgusted. Arthur certainly was by his actions. He'd been so swept up in plain, simple fury by what the Knight had said that he had been unable to reign himself in. It had taken all his will power not to strike the man down. When he'd abused Merlin in such a loathsome way and almost forced...well a moment of clarity had fought through the red mist and thankfully, the other man had managed to flee. He couldn't bear to think on it.

The small party came to a halt outside Gaius's chambers but could go no further when they realised the door was locked and the physician had no key on his person.

"Merlin!" Gaius called, knocking loudly.

They all exchanged glances as another shout received no reply.

"Perhaps Merlin isn't here?" the servant girl suggested. "I hope he's okay, he's a sweetheart."

Unexpectedly Arthur's hands clenched as he pinned the lass with a furious glare and yelled, "Don't speak his name!"

Silence.

"Erm...Sire I..." the girl mumbled obviously a little frightened and uncertain by his reaction.

The Prince took great breaths. This was why Merlin had run off, why he'd behaved like an arse to make him run off. He couldn't let his jealousy take over.

_That damn potion!__  
_  
A supportive, firm hand on his shoulder helped him master the overwhelming feelings.

"Thank you Gaius," he murmured.

"And I apologise for shouting at you," he said, smiling at the servant girl and patting her on the shoulder.

Unfortunately, the exchange had an affect on the fourth of the group-the young male servant.

"Keep away from my wife," he threatened, waggling a finger in Arthur's face. He then turned on his wife. "You. You've been consorting with the Prince, haven't you! haven't you!" he yelled.

Gaius exclaimed loudly, led the couple over to a bench and sat them at either end from the other. Fiddling in his bag, he held out a potion to each of them.

"They are calming potions, simple enough and shouldn't react adversely against the 'green haze,'" he explained.

"Why didn't you give...?" Arthur stopped at Gaius's warning look.

"It's just water, I have nothing on me, but if they believe, it may help," the physician whispered, smiling at Arthur's raised brow.

The physician held up a hand to knock once more. "I know he's in there, no one else has a key," Gaius murmured.

"Merlin!" he called, knocking loudly. Arthur who threw the force of his weight against the door joined him.

"I should be able to break in," Arthur grumbled. "And why isn't he letting us in, what if something has happened to him!" he was growing more agitated until Gaius laid a reassuring hand on his arm.

"Ssh, I'll speak to him," he said.

Arthur listened as Gaius called Merlin's name again and explained why they needed inside.

They suddenly all heard footsteps and Merlin's voice calling through the door.  
"Sorry...I didn't hear...I..."

Arthur's heart constricted at the hoarseness that suggested Merlin had been crying.

The door opened easily to reveal Merlin. He appeared ashen, tired and despondent. It broke Arthur's heart. He recalled that morning and the heart warming banter and wanted to cry himself when he thought of what had come next. Trying to remain unseen he stepped backward-he also didn't want to appear threatening. When he saw Merlin had observed him he immediately looked down and stilled his shuffling feet.

*

Merlin lifted stinging eyes to focus on Gaius who stood there watching in concern. He sighed about to turn when a hesitant movement behind the elderly man gave him pause.

A familiar blond head was attempting to hide and suddenly Merlin couldn't do this. Not now.

"Gaius, I can't," he croaked, before about turning and fleeing to his room.

Slamming the door, he collected his bag from the floor and began to stuff items into it frantically and haphazardly.

Several minutes seemed to pass as he packed.

A soft knocking captured his attention as he froze, arm aloft, reaching for a favourite neckerchief. Gaius's head poked around the door.

"Merlin, I need to speak with you," he said, all the while gazing at him with exasperated fondness.

Merlin rubbed his face, pushing at black locks, which had stuck to the wetness left by copious tears.

"You don't understand," he protested as he looked at his friend with wide, pain-filled eyes before continuing with his task.

A hand grasped his arm and he was made to sit on his bed. The only sound was low murmurs from the main chamber room where Arthur was. Merlin hadn't even noticed anyone else.

"Who...?" he wondered.

Gaius shushed him. "Listen to me."

*

"Gaius will be out shortly and is confident that he will be able to create an antidote for you," Arthur stated watching twin looks of relief flood their faces. They had started to squabble once more after entering the room but had settled rather when Arthur had lost his temper and shouted for silence. He was feeling extremely nervous and wondered what Gaius was telling Merlin and how he was reacting.

Right now, he had to deal with the issue of how he and the servant-Tobias as he now knew him to be called-had come to be infected by the 'green haze'. Gaius had told him of his suspicions and Arthur was adept at questioning people. Since he was personally affected, it added to his urgency to discover the truth. He wanted to stop hurting Merlin and he hated feeling out of control.

"Jane?" he asked of the servant girl.

At her nervous nod he continued, "Is there anything you can tell me about this potion and how it came to affect your husband and me?"

Her face beamed bright and for some reason she couldn't meet his eyes. Hmm.

"Please be honest with me. We need to establish how this occurred and ensure we eradicate the source." Arthur tried to retain his temper aware that shouting would only intimidate the girl and probably not achieve results.

Tobias seemed to take this as an attack despite the Prince's attempt at careful questioning but Arthur was ready for him. His hand shot upward and caught hold of the swinging arm.

"I'll let that one slide since you've yet to take the antidote but lady," he addressed the servant girl, "you had better get talking now."

His increasing worry over Merlin and sheer frustration brought an end to _calm and collected_.

Jane broke down in tears, admitting that she'd purchased a potion from a traveller who'd told her that it held properties which would ensure a person fell so deeply in love that they would never look at another ever again. At this, she had let her head drop and held her face in her hands as she sobbed.

"What...why would..." her husband seemed shocked from his previous anger and stared at her in amazement.

His wife frowned, sniffing, with teary eyes. "You've been looking at the local girls-younger than I-don't think I haven't noticed."

Arthur watched them with narrowed eyes, ready to intervene if necessary but aware it wasn't advisable.

"What...how..." Obviously shocked by her revelations Tobias sat staring in silence. "I never...I would never..."

The couple looked at each other and with a cry, Jane threw herself into her husband's arms. He collected her but stared over her head with blank eyes.

"We have to talk love...I thought we were good...I mean," he muttered, absently stroking her head.

Arthur wished Gaius would hurry up with the bloody antidote already!

"So you purchased a potion which it seems wasn't quite what you believed it to be?" Arthur concluded.

"How then did I come to be affected?" he pondered aloud.

Jane mumbled, "I mixed the potion with some water for my husband this morning but have no idea..."

Tobias interjected gruffly with a disapproving frown at her, "Ah! This morning Sire, I gave you some water as you trained the Knights, Sire."

Arthur vaguely recalled shouting for water during the training session with his Knights. Yes, it had been the man before him who'd handed it over. He observed their apprehension with conflicted feelings. It had most likely sunk in that she had bought something magical and he, the Prince, knew. In part, he would take great pleasure in wringing her neck but it would do no good and only he could repair the damage with Merlin. Harming relative innocents' wouldn't-despite the momentary enjoyment it may bring.

"Wait for Gaius and when he's satisfied then you can leave freely," he stated, trying to appear reassuring when all he wanted was to strangle the pair of them but mostly the servant girl.

They nodded at him but rather cautiously, no doubt sensing his tension and the fragile hold of his temper.


	4. Put the past behind

"What can you say that would make me go out there..." Merlin broke off.

He didn't want to explain what had happened and some part of him felt ashamed. Not only one but two men had forced attentions on him that day. Certainly, Arthur's weren't unwelcome but the manner of them and the way he had been spoken to had been upsetting in the extreme.

He couldn't look at the man who had been like a father to him. Twisting his fingers and picking at his fingernails, Merlin tried to block out everything.

Gaius wouldn't allow it. Therefore, he listened as he was told of the potion, of the servants, and of the physician's suspicions.

*****

The creak of a door stopped Arthur's pacing and brought up the heads of the two servants.

Only Gaius appeared but at once he addressed the Prince, "Sire, you may..." He gestured to the inner chambers where Merlin resided. He then went to his desk to arrange vials and opened a book no longer attentive to Arthur.

Arthur didn't waste anymore time and headed to where he needed to be.

He closed the door slowly, quietly, uncertain of his welcome and shame filling his being. Arthur immediately registered the figure that stood by the small window, staring directly at him, arms crossed and pale faced.

The silence seemed painfully prolonged and Arthur couldn't think on how to begin or how to break the tension.

Then Merlin managed it.

"I forgive you."

Well the silence was broken but perhaps not the tension.

Their eyes locked and Arthur knew, he _knew,_ that he should be over there now, doing something significant but..._God..._he didn't deserve to! His eyes were pleading if he'd but known as they gazed into those deep blue orbs, which continued to remain, fixed on Arthur.

"I've never seen you at a loss for words before, I'm a little unsure it's actually you," Merlin said, the words cheeky but in every way he exuded nervousness

Arthur tried to step forward but managed only a fraction of the distance between them. It felt further than it was.

A heartfelt sigh and then Merlin was there-in front of him, around him and on him.

"Gaius told me...I know it wasn't you and I also know that you..." He seemed to lose confidence because his face was now buried in Arthur's neck.

After standing stiffly for the initial impact Arthur's arms were now clenching around the fragile body, which had leeched onto him.

"How can you touch me or..." he whispered. Arthur was beyond relief but it couldn't be this simple?

Merlin pulled back and led him over to sit on the bed, which was the only available place to do so in the room. This spoke volumes to Arthur of the other man's trust.

"He told you that it was a potion called 'green haze,'?" he queried.

Merlin nodded then mumbled, "Like I said he told me everything but I need you to know that I know you wouldn't behave like that if it hadn't..."

Arthur had heard enough. It was essential that he speak and clear the air completely. It was times like these that this supposedly fragile man displayed the courage that he possessed in abundance but never got the credit for. This man had faced a dragon by his side and travelled into the unknown without protest. Now though he was surpassing a Prince as he faced their situation head on despite all of the awkwardness and unpleasantness of before. He, Arthur, had frozen in a state of abject fear.

Lifting a finger to the other man's lips, he began to speak. He spoke of his underlying panic as he'd verbally and physically abused Merlin and seen his distress. He spoke of his panic at his actions, but how the jealousy had overwhelmed him at the thought of Merlin with another man. How it still did. He took deep breaths and paused to think.

"It will take a long time before I can forgive myself but I want you to know that I would never willingly or knowingly harm a hair on your head." Arthur's voice broke as he felt emotion surge upward until he could barely swallow his chest felt so tight.

"Arthur, you've not taken the antidote yet have you." It wasn't a question. Merlin was watching him with a soft smile, obviously seeing the glint of green now, which he wouldn't have known to look for before.

The Prince frowned as he considered this and realised he'd not felt overpowered by jealousy since the occasion with Merlin in his chambers. (The only hiccup being his irritation at the servant girl's mention of Merlin but he'd managed to regain control without major incident.) After Merlin had fled, he'd sat staring at nothing, then in a panic he'd realised fully what had happened and gone in search of Gaius. At the time, he'd not trusted himself near his servant and had been in agonies of guilt and confusion over what he'd done.

He realised what Merlin was saying-he was sitting here with only remorse and love in his heart (not that Merlin knew about the latter). This was despite not yet taking the antidote to a potion, which was meant to overpower your emotions until a terrible jealousy took over. Arthur hoped this meant that his love for Merlin was pure enough to overcome the potion. That their love was strong enough to help them retain a hold of sorts on its effects. He supposed if any good had come from the potion it was his realisation of how much Merlin meant to him and that he was now actively pursuing a relationship with him. Another realisation hit home. For Merlin to sit here with him alone then...

"You trust me," Arthur stated bluntly, actually daring to believe.

"Actually you prat I believe I love you," Merlin retorted smartly.

Arthur stared.

A rap at the door signalled Gaius's entry and he handed a vial to Arthur with a pleased look as he observed their closeness.

"It should take effect within a matter of seconds Sire," Gaius said. "I'll just wait to ensure it works."

Arthur swallowed it quickly and put the vial down on a tabletop, which stood by the bed. He sat back down and waited apprehensively.

The physician stood over him, watching carefully for the green to fade. With a satisfied nod, he murmured that it was done and mentioned that he'd sent the young couple home early for the day.

When the door closed behind him and they were alone once more, Arthur felt embarrassment rush through him as he realised that it was past time he reveal his emotions after Merlin had done so, so bravely.

"You must know how I feel, he began, then...damn it Merlin I love you!" he exclaimed unsure why it was so difficult to express an emotion which seemed to come so naturally to the fore whenever he was around this man.

Merlin smiled. "You're really crap at this aren't you."

"I'm sorry, so..." Arthur stammered.

"Hush, it's over now and we can begin," Merlin smiled.

Arthur wanted to haul him close, eat him alive but the first move had to be Merlin's.

His hands flexed as he sat there without making a single approach.

"You clot, come here!"

Arthur grunted then sighed into the kiss, which Merlin was now deepening with great fervour.

"Ah...love...love you," he gasped as a tongue flicked against his own to send shocks of pleasure through him.

"That's it Arthur, want you, make me feel safe..." Merlin was mumbling incoherently.

The Prince felt both awed and humbled by this gift and holding Merlin carefully in his arms resolved to protect him and keep him until the day he died. He may have no longer been under the effects of a potion but he remained possessive, protective and proud of his love. He would protect this man with his life.

*****

Merlin was in heaven. He knew it was rather quick to be here in Arthur's arms after the day he had endured but deep down he'd known Arthur would never seriously harm a hair on his head. Hearing the truth from Gaius had only further enhanced this belief. He needed this.

The arms around him protected and blocked out all memory of a certain Knight. He didn't want to think of _him_ now, not when he was being held so lovingly. Arthur gently tipped his chin to gaze at him then peppered kisses over his face. Merlin felt his heart flip. They rested back on the bed and silently lay there, entwined, enjoying the moment.

Now was not the time to reveal what Durant had done, he could tell Arthur tomorrow when they had had _their_ time. It would be a difficult conversation, as he would have to reveal why one of Arthur's Knights was now a statue of a toad-warts and all. He also knew that Arthur was not going to be happy at all.

Of course, it may have to come out just how the transformation had come about. Especially if they were going to start afresh. Yes, tomorrow would be eventful Merlin decided.

As a hand stroked through his hair and his eyes began to flutter shut, Merlin decided that it could wait.

Fini x

For now...


End file.
